tales.page

Tale 1 - Grand Theft

I'm George and I'm in trouble again. Up on a charge of theft of a bread roll and the attempted theft of a cooked chicken. Sam's charged too with aiding and abetting, but as he has no previous form he should get off with a caution.
Just my luck to get caught in the act on camera.
My best hope is to use my black and tan charm on the judge otherwise I'm toast.
Hey did somebody mention toast - yes please!!

Tale 2 - Invasion of the Carrot Snatchers

Carrots have been going missing around here. With our reputation, Sam and I were the first to be suspected but we had an alibi - both being romantically engaged at the time. The police are looking for two guys of dark complexion, both wearing donkey jackets.
Well, Sam and I were out cruising our patch when we spotted these dudes looking for a carrot fix. "These guys have got to go" I said to Sam "you take the small one and I'll see off the big one".
Sam as usual lost his bottle, so we hoofed it before they made asses out of us!!

Tale 3 - G.B.H. by G.S.D.

Like the mug shot of me, Sam and Andrew, my friend and physician. He's the sport at the back without the fur. Been visiting his gaff more than I'd like just lately as I've been mugged.
Sam and I were out on the pull when this big German guy tried to take me out from behind.
Had me shaken there for a while so Sam's been running the firm in my absence, but all you continental sheep herders better watch out, Big George is back, looking leaner, feeling meaner!!

Photograph courtesy of Peak Veterinary

Tale 4 - Summer Loving

George and I have been to the seaside. George likes to do a spot of crab fishing, body surfing and generally topping up his tan. Me I prefer to chase birds, and did I spot two really hot chicks.
"Gemma" I says, "you smell nice" but she wasn't to be sniffed at. Made a move on her mother Ellie next (there's something to be said for an older woman). Boy did she give me the runaround, chased me for a while then just when I thought we were going places, she said she had to wash her hair and headed home.
George said it surfed me right. Oh well there's more fish in the sea, just another holiday romance ......

Tale 5 - Another Fine Mess

It wasn't our idea to have a quiet and relaxing weekend down on the farm. Quiet and relaxing eh!, the sheep bleated, the cows bellowed all night and a mangy sheepdog rounded us up when we were out doing our late night ablutions.
Things got worse when Sam found a fox's calling card and Sam being a man for perfumes, rolled it on his neck, behind his ears, on my head and dad's trousers. Dad was cross and put Sam in the shower, which was a hair-raising experience. Next time we want a quiet weekend, think we'll head for Vegas.

Tale 6 - King (Charles) of the Road

The George and Sam roadshow has been touring the country in their aptly named "battlebus".
With Big George in the driving seat and Sidecar Sam as look out, they've been entertaining the weary traveller with such favourites as "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother", "You Sexy Thing" and "I Can't Get No Satisfaction".
Their impromptu shows of brotherly love and affection have brought a smile to many a passing motorist, though I might add this is not suitable viewing for young children, maiden aunts or those of nervous disposition.
So if you should happen to see these loveable Kings of the Road, just give a wave and say hi to George and Sam, they'd love to see you.........

Music - Good Time Charlies Got The Blues